Life became bearable, and I could… breathe… again. I still had problems facing all of the teenagers in the house at the same time but I didn’t seal myself off completely anymore.’ I nodded, glad that she had found a friend, someone to help her out of the darkness. And the fact that she had several friends now, the ones she had told me about since the first time we met, made the heavy pressure I had been feeling in my chest lighten, and I could breathe more easily. ‘My friend’s situation was very different from mine, because she still had a family, but she struggled with her beliefs and life choices even more than I did. She had a very happy and outgoing personality in general, but she got stuck in deep, dark thoughts from time to time. It was either bright cheerfulness or darkest despair, and it switched basically from one day to another, sometimes even on an hourly basis. When I think back, that’s probably where I learned to use humor as a means to bring some sort of balance to our. I move my hand back to her chest while mumbling something un-understandable as if someone speaks in sleep. I heard there are people who talk while they sleep and tried to play it now. Here I am waiting to see what she does now? She responded by trying to move my hands again when she heard me saying; “Nargis, Nargis, Nargis” Nargis was the neighbors daughter and I actually never had any crash on her. She was not someone that ever I thought about. She was not pretty and she was just very homely girl. At this point Khadijah stopped moving my hand and with a lot of scare and fear I got the courage to move into the next step. I slowing started rubbing Khadijah’s right boob while repeating Nargis, Nargis slowly but in a way that as if I am dreaming about Nargis and that I am actually deep asleep. Khadijah was for sure not sleep since I could feel her very heavy heart-beat and breath. I realized that she knew that I was dreaming about other girl and that because I was a sleep I did not.
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